I feel like such a failure. I bought loads of junk food on Thursday night, including Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, and I started eating that on Friday but felt really guilty after a few spoons so I threw it in the bin instead of putting it back in the freezer.
Then I had to go home for the weekend, which I was really dreading cos as you know that means I have to eat... Except my parents went away for the whole day today so I was really happy cos it meant I could fast for the day.
It's really easy to fast during the week cos I don't normally buy food, but at home there's so much food to tempt me. And during the week there's so much I can do to distract myself, but I was here on my own all day with nothing to do. And the worst part is........ Mum bought Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough!! After I'd thrown out my own tub!
So I fasted all day and wasn't even hungry, but I was supposed to be roasting a chicken so I did that and the smell got to me and I ended up eating a full chicken breast and stuffing!
Then as if that wasn't bad enough, I opened the tub of Ben & Jerry's and ate half!! I was telling myself not to do it as I was opening it. I knew how I was going to feel afterwards but I just wasn't able to stop!
Then I went upstairs and purged. I'm so disgusted with myself, I never so that!
I feel so disgusting, I'm such a big mingin fat pig. I'm never going to get to my goal weight. 
My parents are back tomorrow and they're going to make me eat, so I'm going to head back to college early. I'll say I'll have dinner back at my apartment. I hate coming home at weekends so much! Already I'm dreading Christmas, I know I'm going to put on like 3 stone. At least I can stay in Limerick next weekend cos I'll be working.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Watching X Factor

So I've had to go home for the weekend (I'm in uni in a different city during the week) and it's really stressing me out.
Firstly I had to find something to wear that would hide my weight loss, and then I had to put on a whole pile of fake tan because the last time I was home my mum spent the entire weekend saying how thin and pale I looked, and that I looked terrible.
Then as soon as I got home, we had to go shopping to get something for dinner (eek!)
There was no way I could skip dinner because my mum's getting fairly suspicious, so I had to eat chicken, potatoes and veg.
Then as if I didn't feel bad enough about eating all of that, I had 4 Cadbury's Fingers later and felt like such a failure. I picked them up first and put them back without eating any and I felt so strong and proud, but a few minutes later I just wasn't able to say no and stuffed them into my mouth. So disgusting! All I could think about was all the calories, but I couldn't stop myself.
I really can't wait to go back to uni on Sunday, I hate the stress of going home and being forced to eat. I'm usually so disciplined during the week, there's nothing in my press to tempt me and I can quite easily get by on 200-300 calories a day.
I'm really stressing out now cos we don't have any scales at home and I know I'm going to have put on so much when I get to weigh myself when I get back to uni on Sunday night. :(

Current Location: Ireland
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Hilary Duff, So Yesterday